It's the end of an era (year?)...

I am finally done with my first year of medical school! ~Me

Hey guys!

Sorry I have been MIA for so long. The last few weeks of M1 year have been crazy. But it is finally over! This is proof that anyone can do it! I erased my final white board this afternoon... after my last exam as am M1.

Erasing the board (and my notes) for the last time as an M1

Since August, I have experienced the most trials and tribulations that I ever have in my life. I have broken down, pulled all-nighters, cried in the library, over-slept, wanted to drop out and thought I failed a test. I've had a panic attack during an exam, felt inadequate around others, tripped over too long scrubs and wanted to quit. Seems terrible, right?

Maybe. But, I have also thrived.

I have learned. I know more about the human body, psychology, cells, genetics, diseases and drugs than I ever thought possible. Thinking about all I have learned is truly mind-boggling. I truly have know idea where all of that information is stored! I can now perform a full history and physical exam. I know which drugs to prescribe for certain diseases. I can classify anemias and cancers. I have presented a patient to a preceptor by memory, and been told that it was a presentation worthy of an experienced clinician. I've watched a real heart pump in one of my real patients in real time, in a cath lab. I've gotten a PCWP pressure on said patient, all by myself. I've held a human brain in my hands.

Pulmonary capillary wedge pressure taken in a cardiac cath lab

I have grown (not literally, unfortunately, I'm still a tiny doc to-be). I feel like a new person. I have surpassed barriers I created for myself, and barriers others have put around me. I have found my own motivation, drive and passion. I am fully capable of what it takes to become a physician. I know that after a stress breakdown, I can dust myself off and start again. I know that it is okay to take a night off and go grab a bite to eat and a glass of wine. It is okay to put down the books and dance around the kitchen with your roommate. It is okay to feel like you don't know what you doing. It is okay to not get straight A's. That was a big one for me.

I have connected. I have made some of the most meaningful relationships in the past 10 months than at any point in my lifetime. I have become best friends with people whom I may have never interacted with outside of medical school, or even outside of being forced to work in a group with them. I have established life long relationships with friends. I have numerous new mentors. I have connections I never thought I would. I have never felt closer to a group of people in my life, than I do to my classmates. It is truly a wonderful feeling to fit in and be able to approach anyone with any problem.

The most unlikely group of best friends ever... group 13

I cannot stress enough how much learning, growing and connecting you will accomplish in your first year of medical school. I truly hope this little story helps all my future M1s, and I hope my past M1s see some connection to what I've said.

Signing off for the last time as an M1