Why are we afraid to treat doctors?

One of the biggest hypocrisies I see in medicine is the fear of treatment for doctors themselves. Doctors aren't allowed to get sick or fear of retaliation or criticism. I don't want this to be a "woe is me" post, but think about it for a second. Your internist is overweight and has hypertension; the first place your mind goes is "well he keeps preaching to me the importance of a healthy diet and exercise, why doesn't he follow it?". Your cardiologist takes a statin. Your pediatrician's kids are sick, or your OBGYN has a rough pregnancy. And my personal favorite, perish the thought, they are taking medicine for mental health.

They seem to be "failing" at things you trust them to protect you from. How do you take Dr. PCP's recommendations for a plant based diet when he's heavier than you? Or listen to the pediatrician's talk of vaccines when you know her kid has a cold?

How could you ever go to them again?

Though we may deny it when asked outright, the public, myself included, seems to think physicians are infallible. These other people, that don't get sick, don't need time off, don't need treatments or medications the way their patients do. I am not really sure where this idea came from, but it is so off base. They are human!

They are human, just like you. And trust me, they know their stuff. Sometimes, the amount of knowledge my mentors have astounds me. I can only hope to have a fraction of their accomplishments and expertise one day.

Just as the saying goes, "don't judge a book by it's cover" or "you don't know what is going on behind closed doors", you may not know that that PCP has always struggled with weight or eating disorders. Maybe hypertension runs in the family. The pediatrician's kids have been passing around the common cold for days, doesn't mean she doesn't know her evidence based medicine on vaccines. Your cardiologist takes a statin, because let's be real, almost everyone over the age of 60 in the US should probably be on one.

And the mental health... Why can't we treat mental health like physical health?

During one of my residency interviews, I had the opportunity to talk about how I handle stress. My interviewer and I were discussing mental health, and the feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, and depression that unfortunately accompany too many residents nowadays. This question came up further into the conversation with my interviewer, with whom I felt I established good repertoire. Smiling, I asked her “do you want my real answer, or my ‘interview’ answer?” She laughed and asked for the real one.

“Well, I take medication.”

She laughed again, but after noting how serious I was, we entered an incredible discussion about the stigma around mental health and taking care of oneself as a medical professional. Of course, I was able to bring up other coping mechanisms I have such as CBT, yoga and box breathing, but I stressed to her that for me, one of the best ways for me to handle my brain’s condition was with medication. Sometimes other approaches would work; box breathing would calm me enough to get home, but sometimes, I would start with a coping mechanism, and it wouldn’t be enough. I couldn’t always handle my triggers with non-medication options. Other times, I knew I was in over my head from the get-go.

It’s multidisciplinary. The same way we deal with hight blood pressure, heart conditions and common colds.

My brain has landed me in the emergency department twice in the past year. It has cost me time, energy, sleep, relationships. And maybe, even that interview.

But honestly, I don’t think it cost me that interview. Because I believe we are all trying to end the stigma.

I am a more functional, calm and improved version of myself because of that tiny pill. And I will be better for my patients as well. There is no shame in that. And as my interviewer said on that day, it’s better for me to have the self awareness now, and meet these issues head on, than to fall victim to them later.

My name is Ally, and I take medication for my severe GAD and panic disorder. And one day, maybe I will need medication for blood pressure or high cholesterol, or I will go through a rough patch in pregnancy or with my kids. That doesn't make me a bad doctor, it makes me human. And my humanity, that is what makes me a good doctor.